My body’s physiology is something I am very tuned into

Yes, I have experienced emotional anguish – you know this, I’ve not hidden it. Recently I joined a writing group because I know I have a lot to say – much more to say – to you. Yes, You. It’s not that I neglect you or don’t sit with you, I have been having trouble opening up to you – fully, Authentically. Because for some people who hurt – that’s not so easy to do. And I really want you to understand that I understand you.

The group I joined provides writing prompts, and often poems flow about. I will be the first to admit I was never a big fan of poetry – in fact the very first piece I published on Medium was about not being a fan or a writer. But for some reason it flows out of me rather easily. I appear to need a nudge from a support person saying that it’s safe to do. I joined the group in hopes that I will become my own provider and feel the safety and express my self – to you.

And in fact – as far back as 2016 I was publishing my feelings on Medium.com. And my assignment in group this week is to share – share something new or old, borrowed or beloved. So I am sharing with you something I published in 2016, as I was emerging from my wounded pit.

the lines are well defined

those that can be seen

in front of her eyes

my breath labored and

my heart is fast paced

Alert this is to that pain

Pain Pain go away

and find yourself a new way

it doesn’t have to be so

rapid heart and relaxed breath

now that is something to see

For she has reached a new stage

one she feels comfortable preaching upon

and erase the lines and focus on thine eyes

and feel the present from each new day

Here is the original post

I was learning to feel in my body what I was experiencing in my life. You often hear me talk about physiology – it seems to be my drive. My body’s physiology is something I am very tuned into, always have been – but now for real for real tuned in. Because I did climb out from that pit, and I staked my claim on the ground, intentionally, to imprint my steps for you to find.

 

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Accomplishments

Recently a friend of mine posted on his facebook page a list of his accomplishments, to impress that doing so is not an act of selfishness. I read his list and was so inspired that I went on to my personal page and created my own list. It was easy, I rolled it out in a few minutes. Then – I must have read that list I don’t even know how many times. Even I swelled up. I am very proud of myself. Why did I read it over and over? Because I felt excitement with my list. No feelings of being braggy or dramatic, no discomfort, nothing awkward feeling, no guilt, no need to hide anything. In fact I smiled – hard. And the thing about my list is these are my accomplishments – on the side. I did a lot of these things while in school, while working full time, and with many personal projects going.

Some moments (days, weeks, episodes) in life can be dreary. And too often it’s easy to focus on the icky stuff, even thinking we have to be better, or just get through it.

What if you wrote out your list today, and shared it with your most personal circle of friends?

When is the last time you invited someone to honor you – just because?

How do you think you’ll be received? What’s keeping you from writing it? Sharing it? How do you feel when you read your list? If you’re having trouble writing your list, it’s time to explore the reasons why you are struggling. I invite you to have a conversation with me about making your list.

UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_2aa6.jpg Here’s my accomplishments list:

– I was a professional Polynesian dancer for 13 years
– I was a dj, have built stages and did lighting and sound for touring bands – in small venues, and also for concerts at stadiums
– I taught intrapersonal skills at UofMD for 7 years
– I taught adults a trade and was nationally recognized as an expert in my field for 5 years
– I delivered my nephew
– I broke my physical body in half (literally and unintentionally) and taught myself how to walk again
– I owned and operated a spa/wellness center
– my Spa had a 5 star rating and was recognized and published in a national magazine. Also won best of Baltimore awards 2 years in a row
– I overcame abuse, PTSD and victimhood and now I teach others how to do it for themselves
– I completely changed my life, started over from nothing after a traumatic life experience
– I have mentored survivors from abuse, trafficking
– I found my purpose in life
– I have been given a second chance at life and I’m making the most of it
– animals are my children
– I have repaired strained familial relationships
– I work in the healing arts and I help people change their lives
– I am an Ordained Priest
– I communicate with the other side
– I have slept in about 40 of the domestic United States
– I once exclusively spent a New Years eve with the New York ballet company

( Please feel free to share yours )  

The Awakenings Project

The Awakenings Project

returns to Maryland!

For 2 days Marissa Southards returns to Columbia MD. Appointments are limited – reserve your space today.

October 20th and 21st at Nourishing Journey

The goal of the project is the empowerment of women, girls, and woman identifying individuals through body positivity and self-actualization. Participants are asked to think of a word that best describes them and place on the body. A photo is then taken of the participant.

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The Awakenings Project

The goal of the project is the empowerment of women, girls, and woman indentifying through body positivity and self-actualization. Participants are asked to think of a word that best describes them. From that word, the participants are charged to embody its power through its placement on the body and the subsequent photo.

The result being the mantra of the project,
“Society does not define us, we define ourselves.”

empowered1bw-1_large

The image that began it all

The Awakenings Project is coming to Nourishing Journey in Columbia!

Session Times at Nourishing Journey
8975 Guilford Road, Columbia MD

March 10, 2018
10a to 4p

March 11, 2018
10a to 4p

Sessions take approximately 20-25 minutes and no appointment is necessary.  For more information and to join the participant group, please find us on Facebook at The Awakenings Project STL or visit www.theawakeningsprojectstl.com.

Each participant will receive a copy of their print shipped to them

Participation in The Awakenings Project is free, however, should you wish to contribute to this mission, the recommended love donation is $15-20

When you’re required to

You’re living your life, and all is good. Work, lover, family, good friendships – they’re all good. You’re doing exactly what you want to be doing. You’re managing yourself quite nicely. Then one day you go for a routine doctors visit. And you’re given news. Your brain can’t quite wrap around this. You had a hint of suspicion, but now it’s real. You have been noticing a few things. The battering of questions begin – How did this happen? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? What do I do now?

Chances are your emotions get a good ride too – denial, anger, frustration, guilt, fear.

So you take a couple of days to process everything. First you Google it. Then you start finding ways to ask random people questions – how common is this? How do people live with this? How is this going to affect your game? What the heck can I actually eat? You try to keep it in, because you don’t want your loved ones to worry about you. But you have to tell someone – you can’t do this alone! You fluctuate between feeling like you can handle this, and then you break down in tears. You Google harder, deeper.

You start taking Google’s advice. You start reading the labels. You try new things. How much is that other food?! You explore groups. Your sleep is erratic because you have to figure out how you’re gonna get through this – How are you going to do this – for the rest . of . your . life?  Breathe.   Ok. Relax a little bit. Then an advertisement piques your curiosity. You hadn’t thought about that. What other ways can you try? You get creative. You start doing things you never saw yourself doing before, like baking with substitutes, and using “special” flours. Can’t I just have a little bit of what I used to have? You have to laugh. Your mood is lighter because now all of a sudden this is exciting – thrilling even! You can do this! You will find the way! So you pick it all up and little by little as you begin to focus again on what you’ve allowed to slip because of your distraction. You have some catching up to do. And some rearranging. Because feeling healthy feels good. And though this new stuff takes some adjusting, you realize you do feel better. And to know that this is what YOUR body is okay with – well that’s just Great. You can do this!

Life is different now. Your life has changed. And by now the people you have told, you are learning how to manage their reactions to you. You’re finding balance in everything. You’re adjusting to all the different things you have to do, and how to be.

Here’s the example I often give – you don’t arrange your kitchen cabinet once in your life. You’ve removed a food, and then you shop and restock it – organizing your pantry is an ongoing thing, As is Life. Managing your emotions around Food and your Relationship with it – is an ongoing thing. And when you are given a condition to adapt to – it becomes an awareness movement. In the beginning it takes practice, and eventually you get in there, become one with it. But that detective stage – how do you approach that?

This is where having a support team comes in handy. First you want to be held accountable while you are practicing. Someone who is there with you at every step saying Yup, No, or Are you sure you want to do that? What if …. ? And with each of those check-ins – you begin to feel your body learning how to feel about it all. Pretty soon your body is telling you Yup, No, or I don’t think I want to go there any more. You need someone supportive who you can lean on and be emotional with as the road twists. And obviously someone who understands from their own experience is a good support person.

Me, for example – I have a pretty major food allergy – one in the top 5 of most common allergens. And it’s everywhere. I have to be “that girl” when I go to a restaurant, and I have to ask the waiter a zillion questions … it starts with this: “I have a food allergy, can you tell me on your menu what has it, and I’ll go from there. Thank You.” And believe it or not a lot of times – I have to leave! There are still a lot of restaurants who cannot substitute for me. And when I go to a party, I have to ask who made this? Can I ask what’s in it? I bring my own snacks everywhere and I always fill up before an event – like a wedding or something. I choose not to make it about me, so I just don’t eat at times. Like, events that are catered – there’s no one to ask. So people probably think I’m even weirder than they initially thought. Socializing at first felt like dread – now I just don’t mind. People can think all they want – I know I’m doing what’s best for me. Thankfully most people are curious enough that they’ll ask me – then I’m honest. I go through it all … the I’m sorry’s, the OH NO!, the You poor thing (pouty face). At the least it’s a good conversation starter. Like I said a bit ago, it’s become an awareness movement. Not that I go off on some tangent, or preach. But I share my feelings on how funny it is at times. And I always let everyone know that I’m ok with it. That it keeps me on my toes and this way I know I’m always making the best choices for myself. Then I get to talking about what a Healthy Relationship with Food is.

As an Eating Psychology Coach this is what I do. Don’t let the word Psychology get you – I’m not going to shrink your head. And I’m not going to tell you what to do. Instead, I’m going to be your support person. I will explore with you the whole scenario – as you find it, as it is, and for what it needs to be – for you. I guide you toward your strength and courage. I sit with you, and I go through the motions with you. I help you find the way. The way that works – for You.

 

 

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To learn more about Individual and Group sessions with me, schedule at https://LKCEPC.10to8.com, and be sure read more here on my website.

Thank You

~Lisa