My body’s physiology is something I am very tuned into

Yes, I have experienced emotional anguish – you know this, I’ve not hidden it. Recently I joined a writing group because I know I have a lot to say – much more to say – to you. Yes, You. It’s not that I neglect you or don’t sit with you, I have been having trouble opening up to you – fully, Authentically. Because for some people who hurt – that’s not so easy to do. And I really want you to understand that I understand you.

The group I joined provides writing prompts, and often poems flow about. I will be the first to admit I was never a big fan of poetry – in fact the very first piece I published on Medium was about not being a fan or a writer. But for some reason it flows out of me rather easily. I appear to need a nudge from a support person saying that it’s safe to do. I joined the group in hopes that I will become my own provider and feel the safety and express my self – to you.

And in fact – as far back as 2016 I was publishing my feelings on Medium.com. And my assignment in group this week is to share – share something new or old, borrowed or beloved. So I am sharing with you something I published in 2016, as I was emerging from my wounded pit.

the lines are well defined

those that can be seen

in front of her eyes

my breath labored and

my heart is fast paced

Alert this is to that pain

Pain Pain go away

and find yourself a new way

it doesn’t have to be so

rapid heart and relaxed breath

now that is something to see

For she has reached a new stage

one she feels comfortable preaching upon

and erase the lines and focus on thine eyes

and feel the present from each new day

Here is the original post

I was learning to feel in my body what I was experiencing in my life. You often hear me talk about physiology – it seems to be my drive. My body’s physiology is something I am very tuned into, always have been – but now for real for real tuned in. Because I did climb out from that pit, and I staked my claim on the ground, intentionally, to imprint my steps for you to find.

 

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Accomplishments

Recently a friend of mine posted on his facebook page a list of his accomplishments, to impress that doing so is not an act of selfishness. I read his list and was so inspired that I went on to my personal page and created my own list. It was easy, I rolled it out in a few minutes. Then – I must have read that list I don’t even know how many times. Even I swelled up. I am very proud of myself. Why did I read it over and over? Because I felt excitement with my list. No feelings of being braggy or dramatic, no discomfort, nothing awkward feeling, no guilt, no need to hide anything. In fact I smiled – hard. And the thing about my list is these are my accomplishments – on the side. I did a lot of these things while in school, while working full time, and with many personal projects going.

Some moments (days, weeks, episodes) in life can be dreary. And too often it’s easy to focus on the icky stuff, even thinking we have to be better, or just get through it.

What if you wrote out your list today, and shared it with your most personal circle of friends?

When is the last time you invited someone to honor you – just because?

How do you think you’ll be received? What’s keeping you from writing it? Sharing it? How do you feel when you read your list? If you’re having trouble writing your list, it’s time to explore the reasons why you are struggling. I invite you to have a conversation with me about making your list.

UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_2aa6.jpg Here’s my accomplishments list:

– I was a professional Polynesian dancer for 13 years
– I was a dj, have built stages and did lighting and sound for touring bands – in small venues, and also for concerts at stadiums
– I taught intrapersonal skills at UofMD for 7 years
– I taught adults a trade and was nationally recognized as an expert in my field for 5 years
– I delivered my nephew
– I broke my physical body in half (literally and unintentionally) and taught myself how to walk again
– I owned and operated a spa/wellness center
– my Spa had a 5 star rating and was recognized and published in a national magazine. Also won best of Baltimore awards 2 years in a row
– I overcame abuse, PTSD and victimhood and now I teach others how to do it for themselves
– I completely changed my life, started over from nothing after a traumatic life experience
– I have mentored survivors from abuse, trafficking
– I found my purpose in life
– I have been given a second chance at life and I’m making the most of it
– animals are my children
– I have repaired strained familial relationships
– I work in the healing arts and I help people change their lives
– I am an Ordained Priest
– I communicate with the other side
– I have slept in about 40 of the domestic United States
– I once exclusively spent a New Years eve with the New York ballet company

( Please feel free to share yours )  

The Awakenings Project

The Awakenings Project

returns to Maryland!

For 2 days Marissa Southards returns to Columbia MD. Appointments are limited – reserve your space today.

October 20th and 21st at Nourishing Journey

The goal of the project is the empowerment of women, girls, and woman identifying individuals through body positivity and self-actualization. Participants are asked to think of a word that best describes them and place on the body. A photo is then taken of the participant.

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As we bring in 2018

As a Health and Wellness Coach with a focus on Healthy Relationships with Food and the desire to bring your Whole Being into Balance through Lifestyle and Self-Management Coaching, I invite you to join me in 2018 for everything that is

Exciting and Inspirational

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Have a Safe and Happy New Year!