Yes, I have experienced emotional anguish – you know this, I’ve not hidden it. Recently I joined a writing group because I know I have a lot to say – much more to say – to you. Yes, You. It’s not that I neglect you or don’t sit with you, I have been having trouble opening up to you – fully, Authentically. Because for some people who hurt – that’s not so easy to do. And I really want you to understand that I understand you.
The group I joined provides writing prompts, and often poems flow about. I will be the first to admit I was never a big fan of poetry – in fact the very first piece I published on Medium was about not being a fan or a writer. But for some reason it flows out of me rather easily. I appear to need a nudge from a support person saying that it’s safe to do. I joined the group in hopes that I will become my own provider and feel the safety and express my self – to you.
And in fact – as far back as 2016 I was publishing my feelings on Medium.com. And my assignment in group this week is to share – share something new or old, borrowed or beloved. So I am sharing with you something I published in 2016, as I was emerging from my wounded pit.
the lines are well defined
those that can be seen
in front of her eyes
my breath labored and
my heart is fast paced
Alert this is to that pain
Pain Pain go away
and find yourself a new way
it doesn’t have to be so
rapid heart and relaxed breath
now that is something to see
For she has reached a new stage
one she feels comfortable preaching upon
and erase the lines and focus on thine eyes
and feel the present from each new day
I was learning to feel in my body what I was experiencing in my life. You often hear me talk about physiology – it seems to be my drive. My body’s physiology is something I am very tuned into, always have been – but now for real for real tuned in. Because I did climb out from that pit, and I staked my claim on the ground, intentionally, to imprint my steps for you to find.